There once was a time when the loss of my daughter made the world seem to end. But it went on, even if it continued as I watched it go by, it still went on. It seemed at the time that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, my world would never be the same, and therefore was over. In many ways that is true today, the world I knew then is over, but my life continues.  Today its just different,  sure the responsibilities and the pressures from life were there then and they continue today, and in that way it remains the same. However, when the pain of losing Sofia once made my world stop, today the remembering helps it continue.

Lately it seems that the life that continued as I didn’t pay attention is only there to remind me that no matter what has happened in the past, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll be easier on you in the future. When you decide that you’ve been through enough already, it gives you more. More than you feel you can handle, but life is funny that way. It’s the things that it put you through before, that you now lean on for strength and comfort.

Recently when the pressures of life squeezed upon me, I came across a disc labeled “Sofia Aux files”. Not knowing what it held, I loaded it into my computer and found the files that I was able to put together for this video. The disc held pieces of videos from when we removed precious Sofia from her isolette and were able to hold her for the first time. It was a video my sister took and my brother in law put together onto disc. Days went by when the stress of life pressured me, and I took comfort in staying up late putting the video back together piece by piece. I am thankful I found these files recently, I am thankful my sister took the video, and, as all Ireally did was put it back together, I am thankful for the work my brother in law did so many years ago. It didn’t go back together perfectly, but I get to see my precious angel move with life, and that’s perfect to me.